Charlotte
by Palm Tree Fangirl
Summary: Envy meets a girl, but is constantly fighting himself for getting so close to her. What good is a distracted homunculus to their master? He fears that if she finds out, her options are: Get rid of the homunculus, or get rid of the distraction. EnvyxOC
1. Dark Alleys

**Hello! This is my very first fanfic EVER. I'm so happy...yet frightened...**

**The whole point of me writing this was to make a non-yaoi fanfic about Envy. I have nothing against yaoi fanfics; in fact, I like yaoi. I just got kind of tired of never seeing a good fanfic about Envy where he's straight. So here it is. Although this probably isn't so good either.**

**I couldn't think of a female character from FMA to put with Envy so I just made one up. That's why I'm frightened - from what I've seen, people don't seem to really like original characters. Oh well.**

**If you can't tell, I love Envy. 3 It took me a while to figure out why there weren't many straight Envy fanfics. Then I realized, Envy fangirls like me get jealous of the character he's with...the whole fangirl thing...**

**I don't know why anyone would think I owned Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, there would be at least one scene in the entire series where Envy is in the shower.**

**The updates will come quickly, as I already have four chapters written on MS Word.**

**Please, no flamers. If you must, scream and curse at the computer screen or make a voodoo doll of me or whatever. If you think this sucks, just stop reading.**

**Enjoy! I must now go into my own world. **

* * *

"Damn," a young woman swore, walking briskly towards her apartment. "Why did there have to be such a long line? At this time of night, too!" She clutched her large paper bag of groceries and looked around for a clock, or a person. She was completely alone and all she knew was that it was late. "God damn it," she swore again. 

She came to a sudden halt, keeping herself as silent as possible, listening. Strange, she thought, I thought I heard footsteps.

She suddenly wished that she didn't have to go through a dark alley to get to her apartment. She groaned slightly.

She slowed her steps a little when she approached the alley. Her arms tightened their grip around the bag. Her legs started tensing up, getting ready to run. No, more like getting ready to kick her opponent in the face. She gasped when she heard a voice. It was the voice of a man, deep and sultry. He sounded young, probably not older than twenty-five. "I've been waiting for you," he said, "you son of that bastard!"

The man jumped out into the light and swung his leg in the air. Charlotte screamed, dropping her groceries, putting an arm in front of her face, and was about to kick the man back, when she saw that the man had paused, his leg still in the air.

She surveyed the man. He had pale skin and a fair face. He looked very thin yet strong. His clothes were a little weird for Central City, seeing as he was wearing a mini-skort, black toeless, heelless socks, fingerless black gloves, tankini-ish turtlenecked half tank top, and a headband that kept back his hair. The long, spidery strings of emerald gave him an extremely feminine appearance. His crazed dark violet eyes seemed to soften when he realized that she was not his target.

And even though this man had scared the life out of her, she had to admit, he was pretty cute. Even with the weird clothes and the ridiculously long hair.

The man put his leg down and faced the woman eye to eye. He looked down, muttered to himself a little, then looked at her again and said, "Sorry. Wrong person."

Charlotte smiled. She couldn't help it. "It's alright. I was kind of ready for people to be hiding in the alley waiting for their enemies."

The man shrugged. "Some world,"

He looked almost relaxed, but then he jolted, looked around sharply, then said, "Hide!"

"What?"

"Just hide!"

Charlotte bent down, picked up her groceries, and looked around for a place to hide. The telephone booth! She thought. Perfect.

She dove into the booth that stood right next to the alley, and picked up the phone, pretending to make a call. She turned slightly towards the green haired man to watch. He looked ready to fight. His thin body was tensed.

He watched a figure come out of nowhere from the alley. "Sloth," he said. "You could have given me a warning."

A woman, dressed in a long, elegant black dress with long black gloves and slightly browned black hair, walked towards the man. She looked at the man quietly, and then said, "Envy, who was that woman?"

"How should I know? I thought she was him and I almost attacked. We had just started a polite conversation."

"I saw her run into the phone booth over there. Why?"

Envy shrugged again. He glanced over at the phone booth where Charlotte was. His eyes widened, as if to tell her to do something other than stare at them or else it might be suspicious. She slowly, innocently looked away, and started talking to herself, trying to sound like she had phoned her mother. "Yes mother, I will remember. No, I won't forget. Why do you think I would forget? It's...um...his birthday, do you honestly think I'd forget to buy a present for my...um...nephew?"

"I guess she had to call her mother," Envy said, turning back to this woman Sloth.

Sloth's expression became angered. "Envy," she said menacingly, "if you leaked any information to that woman-,"

Envy chuckled. "What do you take me for? I just met her. All I said was sorry."

Sloth sighed, exasperated. "Alright. I'll see you later."

"Will it be this unexpected?"

Sloth looked back. "Did you spend all day waiting for Edward to walk down this street?"

Envy smirked. Charlotte stopped inaudibly moving her mouth to stare. That smile -- it was irresistible. "Pretty much," Envy said, keeping his smile.

"Are you a fool? It would've been much easier for you if you just went to look for him! And besides, you know that we're not to --,"

"Yes, yes, I know! Just go!" Envy glanced nervously in Charlotte's direction.

Sloth turned, and disappeared into the darkness.

Envy turned and beckoned Charlotte over. She decided she'd better stop staring, so she smiled and trotted over to Envy's side.

"Was that your girlfriend?" she asked. Immediately she realized what a childish thing that was to say.

Envy smirked again. "No. She's...my sister."

"Oh. I didn't catch your name - was it Envy?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Envy. Yours?"

"Charlotte."

"No surname?"

"Well, if you won't tell me yours, then I won't tell you mine."

"Deal."

Charlotte smiled. There was something about this Envy that always made her smile. "Your sister's name is Sloth?"

"Yeah."

Charlotte smiled again. "Creative. Adjective-nouns for names?"

"Our mother is a horrible bitch."

"Touche."

Charlotte was watching Envy's eyes the whole time they had been talking, and noticed that they had been directed at her chest. She was about to make a witty comment about his ogling, but then she heard a strange dying cat-like gurgling sound. It took her a minute to realize that it was Envy's stomach and not a drowning animal. She looked down at the groceries that she was hugging tightly against her body.

"You hungry?" she asked. She couldn't help but look at Envy's thin torso. She could barely see his ribs, but they were visible. It made her wonder how often he ate.

Envy nodded.

She looked down the alley. She had the key to a door in the very middle of the alley, which opened up to a stairway. Once you reached the first floor, there was a row of doors. Towards the end, she had the key to a door which opened up to a small yet bright and clean apartment - her home.

"Follow me," she said, grabbing Envy by his thin wrist. She watched Envy's face for a split second, expecting it to blush, since he was so young. It didn't. It was still staring at the bag of groceries.

Charlotte was a little disappointed. As she walked down the alley towards the stairwell, she thought, I'll try to get him to blush before sunrise.

Again, she thought about what a stupid and childish thought that was.

* * *

When she reached her apartment, Envy looked surprised when she opened the door. It was a lot brighter and cleaner than the hallway suggested. 

Charlotte still had Envy by the wrist, and she pulled him in towards the counter of her tiny kitchen. The first thing Envy did when she set the bag on the counter was he started to unpack it. He was obviously searching for something to eat. He pulled out a large loaf of bread, two large steaks, and a bottle of milk. He held the milk by the neck of the bottle, staring at it. He started snickering to himself.

"What?" Charlotte said, smiling again.

Envy stopped to say, "One of my greatest enemies absolutely hates milk. I'll enjoy this."

He took a knife and sliced the loaf of bread in half in one quick, effortless motion. He set one half aside and ripped a large piece from the other loaf with his teeth, chewing it quickly. He was eating the bread so fast, she could hear him chewing and gasping for air between swallows from the dining table.

"When was the last time you ate?" she asked incredulously.

"9:00 yesterday night. What time is it now?"

She looked at a clock hanging on the wall. It was 11:50.

"Ten minutes to midnight."

"Exactly,"

Envy finished off the bread. He began on the steaks by turning on the stove and searching for spices. He put the steaks on the stove together and put several different spices on them. He flipped each steak constantly, until he took his bread knife, jabbed the steak, and peeled the puncture open, poking around the inside with a fork. He was apparently waiting for the steak to be fully cooked, but almost too soon, he picked up each steak with his knife and put it on a plate with a fork. He set the table and grabbed the bottle of milk with a couple of glasses.

"Wow," Charlotte said, looking at the clock. It was midnight. It had only taken him ten minutes to cook two whole steaks. She grabbed the other half of the bread and put it on the table. Envy was already eating, shoveling the beef into his mouth with such vigor that Charlotte had only seen when she starved herself for a day to look thin for a dance. But Envy probably didn't starve himself on purpose.

Charlotte was barely halfway through her meal when she saw Envy's empty plate. He was eating more bread and gulping down milk. He looked at the unfinished steak on her plate and asked, "Are you going to eat that?"

Charlotte shook her head. She quietly munched on her bread. "Envy?"

Envy had already finished her steak and was about to get up to clear the table. "Hm?"

"Why haven't you eaten since 9:00 yesterday night?"

Envy shrugged as he picked up plates and glasses. "Number of reasons. My job doesn't allow decent meals too often, that plus the ones with money to spend weren't there."

"So you can't afford food?"

"It's not that I can't afford it, it's that I don't make the income and the ones who do don't give me the money."

Charlotte must have looked depressed when she looked into Envy's eyes, because he quickly added, "But I get by, I mean, it's not like I'm homeless, I live with that witch of a mother and my siblings sometimes, so when I don't have work or anything to do, I just go back there."

He wandered over next to Charlotte's chair and stared at her. She was looking at the table. He looked a little pained when he said, "I haven't eaten that well in a while. Thanks for the food." He started to walk out the door, hesitated, then was about to leave when Charlotte stopped him.

"No, wait!"

Envy grabbed the doorframe with one hand and looked back, his expression innocent and bewildered.

He looks so cute... "Do you have somewhere to sleep tonight?"

Envy glanced out the door into the dim hallway, looked back, and smiled. "No. Are you offering your house?"

"I guess I am. There's a couch in my room, you can sleep there."

She grabbed Envy's wrist again and led him into her bedroom. Envy couldn't help but feel a little awkward. Charlotte glanced back unconsciously to check if he was blushing, but he wasn't. She pulled a throw pillow and a blanket out of her linen closet and handed them to Envy. She stared at him set up his makeshift bed before she muttered, "Wait,"

He looked back without turning his head. She pulled a pair of sweatpants out of her drawer. "I want to clean your clothes. I doubt they've been cleaned in a while."

He stared down at his skirt and shrugged. "I dunno."

She looked at the sweatpants she had in her hands and extended them out to him. "Here, I don't think my shoulders are broad enough for yours to fit in my shirts, but you're thin enough to fit in these." She pointed to a door that was barely noticeable. "The restroom's right there."

Envy, expressionless, looked at the sweatpants in his hands. "Why are you doing all of this for me? We just met."

Charlotte had to search herself for the answer. "When you thought your sister was an enemy, you made it your first priority to hide me. You could have saved my life." She spontaneously smiled. "This is my gratitude for such thought."

Envy looked down, and Charlotte could have sworn to God that he had a little pink on his cheekbones. "Thanks," was all he could say.

She noticed, for the first time, red circles and lines from his shoulder to his spine to his shoulder, and a red dragon tattoo on his left thigh. "I love your tattoos," she commented, "they look so good on you, and they're such a great accessory on you."

Envy looked back, and smirked. "I wouldn't say 'accessory'. More like a curse."


	2. Poor Angsty Slaves

**I'M SO SORRY THE UPDATE TOOK SO LONG!! **

**The computer with the story crashed and I got a new computer so I just rewrote the chapters...so sorry...**

**Anyway, this is written in Envy's POV. As is common practice, I will be switching POVs between Envy and Charlotte every other chapter.**

**If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, the Envy in the anime would be more like the Envy in the manga.**

**Enjoy!! **

* * *

Envy leaned his head against the cool tiled walls of Charlotte's apartment. 

Okay, why the hell was he going along with what this girl was doing and saying? Why had Sloth had to come at that particular moment? He could have just said, "bye" and ran. Dante was going to be pissed.

Speaking of Dante, wasn't it she who had always said that homunculi didn't have emotions? Didn't have interests or feelings? He had had these principles pounded into him every day of the four hundred years he spent with her. So why now, of all the other times, was he suddenly having _feelings_ for this Charlotte girl? He'd have to go back to the mansion eventually. Dante would probably do some horrible torture and say, "You're acting awfully selfish, Envy. Don't you think of anyone besides yourself? Think of your poor sister Lust who wishes to be human so badly. You're hurting her." Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All lies and bullshit just to get them to do what she wanted.

More importantly, how was he going to explain this to Charlotte?

And even more importantly, why did he care?

A tiny voice, the voice that always made Envy wonder if he was schizophrenic, said, _maybe it's because she's the first one who actually at least acted like she cared about you. The first human who acted like they cared._

But, Envy's regular mind thought back, what if she's just using me? She just wants sex or something.

_Right,_ the tiny voice replied, _and Gluttony hates to eat and Edward absolutely loves milk._

He pulled his head from the wall, the space that it had previously occupied now fogged up. Was he sweating?

He looked at the sweatpants in his hands, and undressed rather quickly, since he didn't want Charlotte to get any more bad impressions. He slipped into his sweatpants and stared at the mirror. Wow. I am freakishly thin, he thought. The only way her sweatpants stayed on him was because they were hanging off of his bony hips. He could easily see his ribs yet he had toned abs. Now how the hell did that work?

Experimentally, he flexed his arms in front of the mirror. What the hell? His biceps were..._visible_. Sculpted, even. Everyone told him he was thin as a stick and looked like a girl. So how did he have muscles? I probably beat up kids too much, he thought, smirking slightly. Suddenly remembering that Charlotte was probably wondering why the fuck he was taking so long, he quickly removed his gloves, socks, and headband, gathered up the rest of his clothes, and slammed open the door.

Charlotte squeaked and looked at him, blushing to a bright pink. "W-wow," she said, staring at his chest. "Wow. You...um...you're so...thin! Look, my sweatpants barely fit on you! Ah hah hah..." she continued laughing nervously in this manner. She suddenly snatched the black mass of fabric out of his hands and stalked off to the laundry room.

Envy had to refrain from laughing. It was simply _adorable_, the shade of pink she blushed to! He sat down on the edge of her bed, staring around the room. There was a sliding glass door, hidden by blinds, that led to a tiny balcony. The balcony looked out onto the dark alleyway which he was certain was full of assassins. He wondered how interesting her midnights usually were. Was this a first, or was she constantly picking up poor angsty slaves to their family businesses?

He dozed off, staring at the blinds, until he was roused out of his daze with a loud "GODDAMMIT WORK YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!"

Stifling a snicker, he walked over to the laundry room and peered in, seeing Charlotte kicking the laundry machine with such rage that he had only seen when Lust found out her boyfriend was two-timing her. "Laundry machine broken?" he asked quietly.

She sighed and raked her hands through her thick burgundy hair. "Yeah," she said, and closed her forest green eyes. They were the same color as his hair. Odd. "Goddammit, I've got to wash these the old fashioned way...damned machine keeps fucking breaking." She pulled out a small wooden tub, a long string, some clothespins, and a scrubbing mechanism with steel rollers.

"You really don't have to wash them, they can't be as dirty as you think they are..." Envy said, in a meager attempt to dig himself out of the hole he fell into earlier. But Charlotte was stubborn. "No, no, I said I'd wash them, and I'm gonna wash them." Envy sighed. Okay, fine. That didn't work.

He heard her filling the tub with water, but as soon as he heard her shut off the water, he also heard a gunshot. Let the fun begin, he thought.

He walked out onto the balcony, easily sliding the heavy glass door aside. He leaned on the rail, the street by the alleyway lit up by the bright full moon. He stared down on the street, waiting to see the beautiful pools of blood that followed a midnight's murder. Instead, he got a blond ponytailed man with a beard and glasses running after some guy holding his briefcase and a gun.

Wait. Blond, pontytailed man with a beard and glasses?

_Could it be?..._

_HAVE I FOUND HIM??_

Envy stepped up onto the railing, about to jump down, about to have his revenge, finally, sweet, sweet revenge against the bastard...

But the light caught the man's face, and Envy, who was ready to pounce, realized that it wasn't him. The face wasn't the same.

_Dammit. I thought I was so close..._

He stepped down off of the railing, only to see Charlotte looking at him, a look of pure bewilderment on her face. However, it was an even deeper shade of pink now "What was that all about?" she asked, fidgeting to balance the tub of water on her hip. Envy was not prepared at all for this. "Um...uh...I thought someone...uh...might be dead."

Charlotte shrugged. "This might sound sadistic, but I've gotten used to seeing dead people near here."

Envy nodded. He stared at her struggling to keep the tub balanced. "Let me," he said, quickly striding over to her and taking the tub out of her hands. "Why do you want to wash my clothes so badly, anyway?" Blushing, Charlotte shrugged, somehow keeping her composure. "I honestly don"t know. I feel like I haven't been a good hostess lately. So," she said, "go to bed like a good guest."

Envy snickered. "Yes, _ma'am_." He gave a half-hearted salute, just to see her giggle again.

* * *

**Aww...I just had to end it with a little fluff...**

**So, review if you want, and if you must flame, go outside and flame on the streets to the homeless about how much this sucked.**


	3. Men are Idiots

**Hello! It's me again with this crappy fangirl-inspired story. Yes I am continuing it.**

**Summer vacation's coming up, so updates should actually be coming quickly.**

**I was thinking about adding some angst to the story. Maybe? Maybe not. I'll decide someday.**

**On with my "creative" disclaimer! If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, Envy and Lust would get together. I love that pairing. Maybe I should have used Lust instead of an OC? Oh well. What's done is done.**

**Switching back to Charlotte's POV!! Wheeee!**

**Sit back, relax, and enjoy this train wreck I call a fanfiction.**

* * *

Charlotte quietly followed Envy out onto the balcony while he carried the vat of water with ease. This was a blow to her pride - skinny, effeminate men were stronger than she was.

Oh well, she didn't really care. It was past midnight and she was tired. She'd have to do enough work with her arms washing his clothes anyway.

As she began her work, she glanced up at Envy, who was looking over the balcony with his hands on his hips. Oh, the androgyny.

Still, she felt the blood rushing up to her face. Especially when he shifted and the moonlight hit him perfectly - flattering his body and shining on his face.

She must have been beet red, because when Envy glanced down at her, he snickered and said, "Somebody's about to have a nosebleed. You were bright pink when I came out of the bathroom."

"Shut up," Charlotte replied matter-of-factly. "It's not every day you see a he-she change out of a sports bra and a mini skirt into baggy sweatpants."

Envy waved his hand dismissively, stifling laughter. "Oh, here we go with the 'transvestite' and 'he-she' jokes."

If Charlotte's blush could deepen, it did. "A he-she who, might I add, doesn't wear underwear!" Envy started laughing. He had forgotten that he didn't bother with that when he shapeshifted.

Envy was lucky he was paying attention to his mind today; if he wasn't, he would have shapeshifted on some boxers. "Didn't you tell me to 'go to bed'?"

"Yes, in fact, I did! So go!" Envy, again, waved his hand and stepped back into the apartment.

Charlotte, however foolish she felt for it, had had the image of Envy in the moonlight burned into her retinas. At least the blood had started receding from her face. She thoughtlessly continued scrubbing Envy's clothes against the washboard.

It suddenly, pathetically dawned on her that she barely knew who this Envy guy was. She just knew his first name, a miniscule background on his job, and that he was hot. And she was letting him sleep in her bedroom? This total stranger who had protected her from a supposed threat?

_What if,_ she thought,_ he's a rapist?_ _Or a homicidal maniac? He kind of had that look in his eyes...they seemed to have the reflection of blood embedded into them..._

Charlotte gave a quick glance over to the stranger sleeping on her couch. He had his back turned to her. Bastard's probably licking his knife...

_Oh, shut up,_ her sensible side snapped. _If you're that paranoid, then keep a knife or a crowbar under your pillow. It's getting late and murders are popular in this area. He would've killed you already if he wanted to._

She watched the green-haired potential murderer roll over onto his back. Her whole body froze. _Shit,_ she thought, _he's gonna kill me. Oh shit oh shit oh shit._

But Envy didn't move. He simply lay there, his eyes directed at the ceiling, his blanket carelessly draped over his torso. He didn't exactly look like he was going to go on a murderous rampage anytime soon.

If anything, he looked depressed.

_Told you._

She wrung Envy's clothes and hung them up on the clothesline. She wiped her forehead and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. The moonlight illuminated the room, and she caught a glint of light from his eyes.

"Still awake?" she said without looking at him - her paranoia hadn't completely subsided yet.

"Mmnnh,"

"Barely awake."

"Mmmhmm."

"Ah. You should get some rest."

"Nnnngh..."

Envy rolled over on his side only to catch the moonlit silhouette of Charlotte staring at him. She looked tense.

"Come on."

"Mnnnngh...fiine...Mother..."

Charlotte rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom to change into a nightgown. Why did Envy sound so much like a girl? Maybe she should pay for him to get his vocal chords lengthened. While she's at it, she should cut his hair and give him some more masculine clothes.

She peeked out of the bathroom door, forgetting that she had left a few buttons undone on her nightgown.

"I see you, sexyyy..." Envy's feminine voice trilled, obviously hiding laughter.

Charlotte blushed slightly and slammed the door shut. It didn't matter how feminine they sounded or looked, men were idiots all the same.

* * *

**w00t, Chapter 3 is done! Sorry it's so short...oh well. Review if you must.**


	4. Trust

**Hello all, and welcome back to my growing fanfiction between our favorite fem man, Envy, and my OC, Charlotte. If you've read it this far, I thank you for having so much faith in me.**

**This chapter (finally) takes the genre "romance" and actually uses it. I've never written a romance scene before, so I hope this turns out all right. I couldn't bear it if a Envy's name was incorporated with a piece of crap.**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, Envy would have a more masculine voice.**

* * *

Envy's hand flew over his eyes as he continued to laugh. The slam of the door was still ringing in his ears.

What he really couldn't get out of his mind, though, was that image of Charlotte being silhouetted against the moonlight, staring at him. He didn't see any shadow; he saw fear. Was she afraid of him?

What had he done to make her afraid of him? Okay, an idiotic question. But she didn't know about all the stuff he'd done.

I think it's quite obvious, you just appeared and she barely knows who you are. She probably thinks you're gonna murder her.

Alright, I like this girl, somewhat, so I have to think of a way humans gain trust, and use it.

Envy realized that this was going to be harder than he thought. He didn't interact with humans that often, only to kill them. And he didn't want to kill Charlotte. What did they do?

As he racked his brain for an answer, Charlotte swung the door open, crossed the room to the balcony door, and shut the blinds. His eyes followed her as she lay down on her bed and sighed.

There was a long silence until she whispered, "You're still awake, aren't you?"

He wasn't sure whether or not he should respond. So he lay perfectly still.

"Envy."

"Yeah, I'm awake," he replied.

"It's three a.m." she said. "What is wrong with us? Do you feel in the least bit tired, Envy?"

Envy let out a short laugh. "No," Of course not. Homunculi don't get tired. "But I'm going to try and get some sleep."

Envy thought Charlotte said something in reply, but shrugged it off. He closed his eyes and hoped that sleep, however unnecessary it was, would come. Chances were, it wouldn't.

* * *

Charlotte's eyes stayed open, staring into the darkness. The void and silence seemed to envelope her very soul as she blinked monotonously, hearing nothing but her own breath. She couldn't stand it. Her own bed suddenly seemed very cold.

She closed her eyes, then sat bolt upright in her bed as if waking from a nightmare. She covered her face with her hands and sighed. It was extremely late. It wouldn't be good for her health if she stayed up so late without any sleep.

The redhead glanced over at the general area of her sofa, and remained extremely still so that she could hear Envy's breath. It was slow and steady. She kept as still as possible, and after God knows how long she gently laid her body down onto her bed.

She decided to resort to a different method in order to cure her insomnia. She lay perfectly still and, again, listened to Envy breathe. She closed her eyes and felt herself being pulled into sleep.

But something jerked her out of it. And again, she had to sit up and rub her eyes.

She quietly slipped out of bed and wandered around the room, making sure that every footfall was as quiet as possible. What was bothering her so badly that she couldn't sleep?

Charlotte crossed the room to the androgyne. He was lying on his back, his face turned upwards, his eyelids twitching and his eyebrows furrowed. Was he having a weird dream? Or did she wake him up somehow?

She found herself sitting down on the edge of the couch, but she paused to ask herself, what are you doing?

_I don't know, but I'm doing it._

She found herself drawn by Envy's face. As her own gravitated towards his, his expression seemed to become perplexed. Charlotte noticed this with what little light there was, and again wondered just what she was doing.

Her face was an inch away from his. This is my chance, she thought, to make this stranger mine. I could get to know him, to flirt with him, to have fun with him, and most importantly:

To love him.

No, no. I know what you're thinking. Don't. It's extremely impolite, and besides, what if he doesn't feel the way that you do?

Charlotte paused. Her lips were centimeters away from his. You're right, I shouldn't.

She closed her eyes to think. She needed a flower, so that she could pick the petals away and decide whether or not she should kiss him.

Her eyes flew open when she felt his mouth pressing against hers.

Thin arms had wrapped around her back, pulling her closer, wanting her, _needing_ her--

And with that, the decision was made for her.

They were frozen in that embrace for what seemed like an eternity, until finally, Charlotte pushed herself up. She stared into Envy's dreamy violet eyes, and watched with utter delight as his cheeks darkened.

"Thanks," he muttered shyly, "for the meal."


	5. Morning

**Wilkommen!! (German for welcome)  
This is the fifth installment of my fanfic. I'm so glad you all have stuck with me this far.**

**I hope you liked my little cliffhanger from the last chaper. It's the best I can do as far as cliffhangers go. So far. I'm sure I'll get better.**

**This chapter is longer than my previous ones, and in this chapter, we FINALLY get past this one night we've been stuck on and Charlotte and Envy get to see the sun. hisses at large light in sky that doesn't go away for a long time**

**IF and ONLY IF I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed would be shirtless for half of the total time he appears in the show. O.O**

**If you are bored of FMA fanfics, you are always welcome to read the World of Warcraft fanfic my brother and I are writing if you're into WoW.**

**So, back into the world of darkness I go. Goodbye!  
**

* * *

_No, no, no, no, no, no, NO. YOU DAMNED IDIOT. YOU DID NOT JUST KISS HER._

Envy stared at what he was pretty sure was Charlotte's face, since it was so dark and he couldn't see. His arms, which before had been clinging her so tightly, were now hanging limply off of her shoulders. He rolled his tongue in his mouth, savoring the honey taste that she had left behind.

Now what?

Envy's heart raced. He had put his puny little mind through so much work to try and find a way to gain Charlotte's trust, and this was all he could come up with. A kiss. Now, he was clueless as to what to do next. Sex? No. No freaking way. Way too early. Kiss her again? Hm. It sounded smart, but lots of things sounded like good ideas in Envy's mind (like killing everyone he saw) but were incredibly reckless.

_God damn it. You have officially reached the depths of your stupidity._

After thinking for a minute or two, Envy realized that he had been subconsciously stroking Charlotte's shoulders and back this entire time. And she hadn't moved an inch. Was the same question going through her head as well?

Envy decided to clear his mind. He closed his eyes and hoped an idea would come to him.

He remained like that until he felt a drop of water fall on his forehead.

His eyes snapped open only to look up at the shadow that was Charlotte's face. He felt another drop, and several more. He heard a choking sound come from the shadow that was hovering over him, and more drops of water fall on his skin.

_Oh, look what you've done now. You fool. You've made her cry._

Charlotte made more hiccupping and choking noises as she struggled to support herself with her thin arms. Envy had never felt more guilty and confused. Was she crying because of his lack of a response? Did she have a boyfriend? A husband? A dead boyfriend or husband? It was very possible that if she had a dead partner, Envy could've been the one responsible for his death.

"Oh, come on, now, please-" Envy whined, desperate to get her to stop. Another loud, strangled sob escaped from Charlotte's lips and she fell on top of Envy, her arms wrapped around his neck, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

Envy grunted quietly when Charlotte collapsed on top of him, but could hear his schizophrenic mind getting steadily more and more pissed off at him. His hands were already rubbing her back and massaging her scalp. It was as if his body knew how to comfort her, but his mind wasn't giving away the secret. He knew what to do, but he didn't know what to say.

"Come on, don't cry, what's wrong?" he said, the guilt starting to become unbearable as he felt her tears rolling down his shoulders.

The sobbing slowed as she started to talk. She sniffed and gasped for air as she wiped the tears away from her face. He heard her say something, but her voice was smothered by his skin. It was immediately followed by more sobbing.

"What?"

He felt Charlotte lift her face up from his shoulder and rest her chin on his damp flesh.

"I'm never gonna see you again, am I?"

Envy froze. Shit. I never thought about that...

What would happen after tonight? When the sun rose, and Sloth would check up on him? Telling him he had to go to this village and kill these people but not those people because those people held important secrets to the Philosopher's Stone, or if he saw Edward Elric that he would have to use every fiber of self control in his being not to kill him because Dante wants him alive. He had to be a good little boy and do what he was told, kill who he was supposed to, stay away from who he was supposed to.

If he obeyed Dante, he lived, but he lived chained to a tree until needed. If he disobeyed her, he was either tortured to the point of begging for death or killed on the spot. Would he rather have freedom and death, or servitude and life? The most interesting part is, he had never really cared about Dante's chokehold on him until now. Until he had something to lose.

"Charlotte..." he began, searching for the right words. He felt the girl's fingers dig into his skin, not wanting to let go. "Of course I'm going to see you again. This isn't over. I don't know exactly when, but I want you to know that I will see you again. This isn't goodbye."

"Mmhmm," Charlotte mumbled, sniffing and shifting her head to the side.

They lay together like that for the longest time. He was extremely tired and didn't want to know what time it was. And he was wondering why Charlotte wasn't tired.

"Aren't you going to bed?" he asked. "Your own bed, I mean."

He felt Charlotte shake her head as she mumbled, "Mm-mm. I'm staying," she buried her head into his shoulder for emphasis, "right here."

"Fine," Envy said as he shifted under her to get comfortable, but the truth was, he had no objections. In reality, he was too damned tired to care - he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could. Even if the sunrise meant he got to kill more humans, he'd rather stay right here.

* * *

Charlotte woke up, the sun's light filling the room. What the hell am I sleeping on?

It took a moment for her to process the events from the previous night. Right. I'm sleeping on top of Envy. Ha ha ha.

Was he awake? She wanted to check, but feared that if she moved, he would wake up and she would lose him.

She glanced at the clock, which said that it was 10:00. She had to go to work in an hour.

Charlotte's eyes slowly looked down at the pale flesh she was lying on. I'll get up at ten thirty. She sighed happily and closed her eyes. This was too nice. How could she leave this?

A little while later, she felt Envy stir underneath her. _Damn. He's awake._

"Hey," he said quietly, "I should get dressed."

All of Charlotte's catlike content had vanished when she heard his voice. "Yeah." she sighed. "I have to go to work."

However, neither one moved. Envy finally picked her up and placed her on her feet while he sat up. "My clothes are probably dry..." Charlotte stared at him as he yanked his black garments off of the clothesline. She sat down on the couch and stared at the floor while he entered the bathroom to change.

When he stepped out, he placed her sweatpants on her lap. "Well," he murmured, "I'll see you later." He opened the door that led to the main room.

Charlotte felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "Wait!" she cried, throwing her sweatpants on the couch and bursting through her door.

She threw her arms around Envy as she pressed her lips against his. When she let go, she looked into his eyes, saying, "I'll see you soon."

Envy was dumbstruck, and his cheeks were tinged pink. When he finally composed himself, he turned around and walked out the front door. "Alright."

Charlotte couldn't help but smile to herself. She had finally gotten him to blush.

* * *

"Well, there you are. We were wondering what happened to you."

Charlotte walked through the door of the cafe and pulled on an apron that hung by the door. "Oh, be quiet." she said, pulling her red hair out from under the apron. "What were you doing last night, Hannah? Did you find a new toy to play with?"

Hannah laughed. "_No_, I did _not_. The fact that you're late today tells me that _you_ did, though. So, what's his name?"

"What are you talking about, Hannah?"

"Nuh-uh, I'm not buying it, Charlotte. You're blushing."

"Shut up!" Charlotte yelled, throwing the dustpan of her broom at the girl. "I didn't meet anyone!"

"Oh yes you did, you did and you're lying to me. You've always been a horrible liar, you know that?"

Charlotte finally stopped and calmed down so that she could think of an excuse. She definitely couldn't tell her about Envy - if she did, then all of Central would know.

"I stayed up all night drinking at a bar," she began slowly, "and I didn't get home until three, and I'm really hungover, so try to keep it quiet, please."

Charlotte stared at Hannah, wondering if she bought her story or not. "What, have you been depressed or something?" Hannah said, wiping down the counter.

"Nah, the line at the market that night was really long and I was just really pissed off. I needed some endorphins going through my system."

"Ah, you're a happy drunk." Hannah laughed. "You want to do the cooking today? You don't have to deal with people if you do."

"Yeah," Charlotte said. Cooking. _I wonder if I can cook a steak as fast as Envy can..._

"Charlotte."

"What?"

"We have customers. Go cook."

Charlotte walked into the kitchen. This was going to be a long day.

After a few hours, Charlotte stepped out to have some lunch. Hannah was staring at her with a strange expression on her face.

"What?"

"I still think you met someone."

"Yeah right. If I did, I wouldn't have even come to work."

Hannah raised an eyebrow at her. "You know what? You didn't meet anybody. You're still drunk from last night."

* * *

**Yay for minor original characters. Positive reviews are what keep me going!**


	6. Impressive

**Yay! It's time for chapter 6!! Wow, I'm on chapter 6. I think we can all agree that I'm only on chapter 6 because my chapters are incredibly short. Oh well.**

**This chapter will be long! w00t! Even longer than the last one. Hopefully, a lot longer than the last one. If I'm feeling disciplined today. Which I think I am! Yay for you!**

**Now for my awesomely "creative" and "original" disclaimer (since a lot of people do the whole "if I owned FMA" thing): If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, there would be yaoi. Between various characters.**

**So, sit back, relax, and enjoy. You get to see Envy and Lust kill people in this one. .**

* * *

"I don't know about you, but this does get a bit monotonous." Lust's sultry voice echoed through the alley as she removed her nails from the body of a young man. She, Envy, and Gluttony had been told to kill this particular man by Dante. Something about getting in the way of one of the other homunculi. Lust never did find out the reason, because Envy was pissy this morning and had said "Okay, okay, we get it, let's go." Maybe it was just Sloth, who had gone to pick him up from wherever he was. But Lust thought Envy tolerated Sloth. Oh well, it didn't matter. Envy was just being pissy and she was getting annoyed. 

"Monotonous? This never gets boring." Envy said, chuckling as he playfully kicked around the corpse. "That's because you're a sadistic psychopath who is bent on killing all humans." Lust sighed. She didn't care what Envy said, this did get boring. Maybe it was because she only had to point at someone and they'd be dead quicker than the blink of an eye. Envy got to wring their necks, kick their chests until their own ribcages stabbed their heart, break bones, and pretty much feel his victim die. Fun fun.

"Can I eat him? Pretty please, Lust?" Gluttony said, looking up at here as cutely as he could, a finger stuck in his mouth. Lust glanced at him and rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said. Gluttony would have squealed if he could. Envy moved out of the way as Gluttony dove into his before-lunch snack.

"Oh, for God's sake, Gluttony, be cleaner, will you?" Envy snapped, kicking Gluttony lightly in the side. Gluttony whimpered and ate slower.

Lust frowned. Gluttony was only doing what he was made to do. Envy had no right to get all male-PMS on him. "Calm down. He can't help it. He's hungry."

"When ISN'T that fat ass ever NOT hungry?" the shapeshifter spat. All of this was really starting to annoy him. He hadn't gotten any sleep (not that he needed it) and he was sure Charlotte was either depressed or angry at him for abandoning her. He knew perfectly well what it was like to be abandoned and he was angry at himself because he had to do it.

I'm not abandoning her, he thought. I'm going to see her again. Where does she work?

Damn it. I have no idea. I guess I'll have to sneak into her apartment. Or meet her in the alley. Just make sure you don't mistake a tall redheaded woman for Edward Elric again.

He was snapped out of his conversation with himself when he felt something hit the back of his head. He whirled around and rammed his heel into the wall, apparently missing his opponent. With a quick glance to the left, he saw Lust with her arm in the air. She was glaring at him.

"...oh." Envy removed his foot from the wall. He rubbed the back of his head. "What was that for?" he attempted to whine, but his voice had cracked and he just sounded like an idiot.

"_Envy_." Lust growled, "_I have asked you at least ten times already_. _Where_. _Do you want_. _To eat._"

"Wh-wh-what?" Envy stuttered. How uncharacteristic. Lust scowled and smacked him upside the head again. "EAT! EAT! WHERE DO YOU WANT TO EAT!" she growled again. _Lust is threatening when she's annoyed._

"I-I-I don't know..." He was met with another smack, this time across the face. "Why don't you stop daydreaming and _wake the fuck up_! You've been irritating all morning and I'm tired of it. Forget it, I don't care if you're hungry or not, we're eating."

"I-um-I-..." Envy continued to stutter, until he managed to gather himself and say, "Fine. I don't see why you want to spend money, anyway. We could just kill the guy like we did with Tubs."

"NO. I actually feel like a change. I think we should at least try to look normal once and a while."

Envy looked at Lust's revealing clothes, Gluttony's...abnormal body shape, and his own revealing clothing. "Lust, how would _we_ look normal?"

Lust exhaled, staring at Gluttony as he feverishly wiped his mouth. "Well...how about we just pay so that people won't remember what we look like if we killed the manager."

"You're no fun." Envy sighed. He really wanted to kill somebody right now.

"Well, let's go, Envy. Please don't daydream again. Besides, what if your girlfriend works at the restaurant?"

Envy had told Lust about Charlotte, since Lust wasn't one to rat to Dante about her fellow homunculi being "traitorous", since she was willing to resort to Edward Elric if he could make her human. Envy saw no harm in telling her he had a "girlfriend" since he had some dirt on her.

"Envy! Let's go." Lust turned around and sighed. Envy was not only being bitchy, he was also definitely out of it.

She hadn't taken more than ten steps when she felt a hand grab her waist and pull her back. "Look, for the last time, I'm not a prost-"

"GET THE FUCK OFF HER!" Envy yelled, kicking the man off of Lust and sending him flying into the wall. Envy kicked him several times in the stomach, then kicked him forward. He grabbed the man's neck from behind and twisted his head as hard as he could. When he heard the "snap" that he wanted to, he let the corpse slump to the ground and sighed. It was like he was addicted to a drug, was having withdrawals, and had just now satisfied them.

Lust simply stared. How...strange. Then it dawned on her. Envy was just playing the roll of caring about her so that he could relieve some stress. He knew perfectly well that she could kill him easily.

"You really needed to do that, didn't you?" she said, snickering a bit. Envy sighed again and nodded. "It's good that you blow off steam on idiots like him, but you really need to think first. There'd be less of a mess if you'd just let me get him."

Envy smirked and shrugged. "Gluttony can take care of him, right"

Lust nodded. "Let's go, and please don't get distracted again."

* * *

"Envy, this one looks good, let's go here."

Envy peered inside the window, trying to see the menu. Did they have chocolate parfaits? "Alright."

Gluttony quickly ran up to Lust's side as she opened the door. A redheaded girl nodded at them, but when she saw Envy, she squeaked and turned sharply around. Lust raised an eyebrow at her and turned to Envy, saying, "Is that her?"

Envy nodded. "Charlotte?" he said. She turned around and ran up to Envy, kissing his cheek and hugging him tightly. Lust stared, with a mocking "oh how cute" smile on her face.

"Hi," Envy said, hugging her back but feeling a little awkward. Charlotte turned around and smiled at Lust and Gluttony. "Friends of yours?" she said, a huge smile plastered on her face. She's obviously really happy to see me.

"I have to go cook. Can I see you later?" she said, her arms wrapped around his neck. She's just so damned cute. "Sure." Envy said, feeling like a complete idiot because Lust was staring at him with that damn smile. Charlotte didn't notice, because she gave him a quick kiss and sped off into the kitchen.

"Did you see her leg go up when she kissed you? She's so adorable." Lust said, snickering. "I never thought you'd be into the cute ones, Envy. I thought you'd've liked them _rough._"

"Oh, shut up." Envy snapped. He really wasn't in the mood to be mocked. "And you're so romantic," she continued. She was loving this. "'Hi.' 'Sure.' You could make any girl swoon, Casanova."

"Do you serve poison?" Envy called to the brown-haired waitress in the corner. She scampered up to the table, realizing that she had customers. "Um, no, we don't serve poison." "Alcohol?" "We have beer..." "I'll take two bottles." "Okay." "Do you serve chocolate parfaits?" "Yes." "I'll take five."

The girl (the nametag read Hannah) was about to walk off until Envy grabbed her elbow. "That was just for me."

"He'll have...everything, I guess." Lust said, gesturing towards Gluttony. "And I'll have coffee and a steak." Hannah nodded and walked off to the kitchen.

Lust watched the girl walk off and smirked. "I bet she's still trying to figure out if you're a man or a woman"

"Shut up."

"Why do you act...and sound...and dress...and look...so effeminate, anyway"

"What do you mean, 'act?"

"Don't you remember when we had Gluttony kill one of Cornello's subordinates, because you changed back into your normal look? Do you remember what you said?" Lust put on her best Envy-smirk and placed her fingers on her chest. "'Least I can change now, back into this _adorable_ form.'" she breathed dramatically.

"What do you care?" Envy snapped quickly. "Oh, I'm just worried about poor Charlotte's colleague here. She'll be pestering her about your gender and she wouldn't know anyway."

Envy rolled his eyes. "Would you prefer that I walk around naked? Then everyone would know I'm a male."

Lust smiled. "No, because then your girlfriend would find out about your _shortcomings_."

If there was a thread inside Envy's mind that kept his temper in check, it snapped. "_What_?"

Lust's smile widened. Oh, she couldn't _wait_ to see Envy's reaction to what she said next. "I mean, when you walk around with that voice and that skort...if I didn't know you, I'd wonder if you even had anything down there...or, if you did, if you had anything _significant_ to a lady..."

Envy had completely snapped. He slammed his hands on the table and stood up sharply. "I WILL FUCKING TAKE IT OFF AND PROVE TO EVERYONE THAT I'M A GODDAMN GUY! YOU DON'T THINK I'M IMPRESSIVE? YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING SHOW YOU HOW IMPRESSIVE I AM?!"

Lust's head had dropped downward, and her shoulders were shaking from hysterical giggling. Gluttony, of course, hadn't noticed. Hannah was staring at Envy, her eyes wide open. And Charlotte had completely frozen. The whole cafe had gone silent.

Envy was now blushing to a deep crimson. He sank back into his seat, glaring daggers at Lust, who couldn't even glance up at him without looking back down and giggling hysterically again.

"I. Fucking. Hate you."

"I can't believe you did that..."

"I will fucking wring your neck you sadistic little BITCH."

"I can't believe you really did that..."

"Sadistic. Little. BITCH."

"It's just so much fun making you snap like that...hee hee...impressive..."

Hannah walked up to the table slowly and placed the several desserts and beer in front of Envy, who snatched it and bit off the cap. "Fuck you."

Hannah might have been frightened, but even Charlotte couldn't stop smiling. Hannah walked into the kitchen and stared at her expressionlessly. "Don't tell me THAT'S your boyfriend. You lied to me. And THAT'S your boyfriend"

Charlotte would have said something, but, like Lust, erupted into a fit of giggles.

Envy had downed the beer and was shoveling in the parfaits, still glaring at Lust, who was still giggling. She managed to sip her coffee, but nearly choked when Gluttony asked her, "What does he mean when he says impressive, Lust?"

When Envy had finished, he noticed that Charlotte had slipped into the booth with him. "Hi," she said, and kissed him lightly. She opened her mouth to say something, but she started giggling again. Lust, again, nearly choked.

"Im-im-impressive, huh?" she coughed out, attempting to regulate her breathing. "W-w-would you really t-t-take-take i-i-it..." Charlotte couldn't finish. She buried her head into Envy's shoulder (she likes his shoulder doesn't she?) and continued giggling.

Envy rolled his eyes. He pushed her chin up with his finger and kissed her, pulling her close. When she was pressed against him, she broke away and began to laugh again. "I-I-I'm so, so sorry..." she said between breaths.

Envy glared at Lust again. "I hate you."

* * *

**HA! ENVY'S A MAN AND HE'S WILLING TO PROVE IT! TAKE THAT FMA ANIME PROFILES BOOK! HA!  
Anyway...positive reviews make me happy...and they make me update!! By the way, I'm sorry nothing really romantic happened here...a little violence in the beginning, my strange sense of humor at the end. Tell me again, why did I put this under the "romance" genre?**


	7. Lust

Welcome back! Thank you for sticking with me this far.

I'm really, really sorry for taking so long. I was having a severe case of writer's block, and when it finally lifted, my adapter broke, so I had no access to the Internet.

At a friend's birthday party, we realized that some of my "creative disclaimers" had come true…in Orochimaru (from Naruto). I wanted a shower scene with Envy? Orochimaru has a shower scene! I wanted Envy to have a more masculine voice? Orochimaru has a more masculine voice (than Envy).

Well, it took me a long time to figure out what I was going to do for chapter 7 until I finally decided to just sit down and write until I managed to produce something better than Envy flexing in front of a mirror. XD

So, on with my usual disclaimer and beg for mercy from flamers: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist…well…I wouldn't saying if I owned FMA because I would own it. And please, if you sincerely think that this sucks and you want to tell me just how much it sucks, there's no need. Just ask me (via PM) to tell you everything I think is wrong with this fan fiction and I guarantee that I will be able to give you a long list. So long, in fact, there will be little left for you to mention.

On with the fangirly fan fiction!

* * *

"You are so pathetic."

Those were the words that Envy hated hearing from anybody, especially Lust, who treated him as if he were her bratty little brother. In his mind, "weak" and "pathetic" were equivalent to words related to and including "short" in Edward's mind, in the sense of sparking random tantrums.

While Edward would try to beat whoever called him short, Envy took a more violent approach: he changed his arm into a sharp pointed stone and shoved it in Lust's direction. She sidestepped and sliced the point off of Envy's arm. He changed it back to flesh, scowling.

"Well, I think it's a bit obvious that that's your fault."

"It was _you_ who stood up screaming that you were going to take off your skort-thing to prove to everyone that you've got a big c-"

Lust felt a good sized bit of her face being removed by a blade which was connected to Envy's arm. Biting her tongue to prevent herself from crying out, she raised her hand up to conceal the wound as it regenerated. "_Shut up_," Envy hissed, his effeminate voice cracking.

"I didn't know you were so _sensitive_," she growled. "Anyway, we've got to see Dante today, no doubt she wants us to kill someone new for the--"

"_For the sake of the Philosopher's Stone,_" Envy finished for her, speaking in a good impression of Dante's demanding voice.

Lust raised an eyebrow at her fellow homunculus. "Normally, when we go to see Dante, you're not so apprehensive. You usually find joy in being her favorite."

Envy snorted. "Favorite? Sure, favorite. I'm her favorite tool. You know, after that bastard abandoned us, she might as well have abandoned me too. It was thanks to both of them that I led such a miserable life."

"It's also thanks to her that we're alive. Quit whining and let's go."

"Lust?"

Gluttony looked up at his mother figure and continued to whisper her name. Lust glanced down at the mass of fat. "If you're hungry," she paused to point her fingers at a flock of pigeons, "you can eat those."

Gluttony's face brightened as he nodded furiously. Black lines dashed across the street towards the flock, leaving several birds skewered on her fingernails as the rest flew desperately away, a great cloud of gray rising up in the sky.

Gluttony pulled them off with his sausage-like fingers and devoured them happily. Envy grimaced and asked, "Is this how you always operate?" Lust nodded, wiping the hand she had used on her dress. "Don't look at me like that, you get used to him after a while." She gestured towards the short Sin.

Envy had been to Dante's manor so many times, getting there was automatic for him. Lust, when she was on her own, usually got lost on the way, since she hadn't had a few centuries to embed the exact location into her mind like Envy. She liked to have Envy around when Dante called them back, since he knew the way so well. That, and Envy _was_ her favorite, no matter how much Envy disliked it, so when he was around, she took failures or interruptions much more lightly.

In no time, Envy was pushing open the enormous doors. The only noise in the large ballroom was his own bare feet sticking and unsticking themselves from the tiled floor. Soon, the clack of Lust's boots accompanied it. This was how Envy usually found this room - totally empty. He sighed and wondered if he could get some rest first. He'd had quite a day humiliating himself in front of Charlotte, and although sleep was irrelevant to him, he enjoyed it.

"ENVYYYYYYYYYYY!!"

_Crash._

A small boy with a wild mane of thick black hair had tackled Envy to the ground.

"Envy, what took you so long, where were you, what happened, I-"

"Get off of me."

Envy shoved Wrath to the ground, getting up and dusting himself off. Wrath rubbed his back and muttered something about psychopaths before retreating back through the door from whence he came.

Lust sighed. "You really shouldn't be so cruel to him, he admires you. He even dresses like you."

"But he's so _annoying_. I don't know how Sloth can stand him."

"So? Gluttony's annoying, but he's useful. He can even be cute when he wants to."

"_Cute_? I think your immense desire to become human has clouded your judgment."

"I also think it's cute how Wrath calls Sloth Mommy'."

"I think you've gone insane."

"Really, now? _I'm_ insane? Mister Four Hundred Year Old Grudge And Still Going?"

"You think it's so damn easy to get over, why don't _you_ try having _both_ your parents still alive after 400 years, one of them uses you, the other completely disregards you as a son and abandons you."

"Quit complaining. At least you don't meet guys like Lujon who look exactly like old lovers."

"Old _lovers_? How do you know he was a lover?"

"He was holding my hand, and saying he loved me. He might've been my fiancée."

"Whatever. At least someone liked you."

"Since when did you care? I thought all you cared about was wiping out the human race, if Dante doesn't get the Philosopher's Stone first and makes you human."

"Are you kidding? She's just going to use the Stone for herse- I mean, she wouldn't make me human even if she got the Philosopher's Stone. I'm too useful."

"That's right, Envy, you are very useful. And what are you two going on about? I can hear you both from my bedroom." Dante, fresh in her new body, smiled down at the two homunculi.

Lust and Gluttony both bowed low to Dante, but Envy didn't even move. "We're talking about - nothing, we were just bickering." Lust said, her sultry voice echoing across the room in the sudden silence. Her eyes flashed angrily at Envy, sending a mental message to him that obviously said "It's your fault".

"Lust, did you kill Boland like I asked?"

"Yes. Gluttony properly disposed of him."

"Good, good. Now, the next thing I want you three to do is to tail the Elrics again. You see, they…"

Envy easily zoned out of the conversation. Lust paid attention, so she could tell him later. His mind wandered; he began to think if he could only forget the reason he was born, everything would be fine…no grudge against Hohenheim or the Elric brothers…no Dante…just himself and Charlotte. The two of them, nothing else, no one else. She was acting really weird at that café. Maybe it's another one of those things that Lust would call "cute". He wondered if he'd have another chance at a night like when they first kissed.

Envy's fingers absently touched his lips. That did feel good. Maybe he could surprise her again in the alley. But he'd have to bring something. What did men normally get for women they loved? He'd have to ask Lust. Ever since the whole Lujon business, she would daydream about the man she saw in her memories, wondering aloud if he ever brought her…what did she say…flowers! Flowers would be good. What kind? Again, he decided to just ask Lust, she'd know.

He continued to finger his lips, and as he racked his brains for the perfect type of flora to bring Charlotte, he was shaken back to reality by Dante's voice repeating his name.

"What?" he said, curling his digits into a loose fist. Dante stared, with a - disgusted? - look on her face. She finally said, "What's kept you so distracted, Envy?"

"Oh," Envy had been expecting this, but wasn't sure which excuse to use. He settled on, "I saw a man walk into Central Library today and come back out with several books on the Philosopher's Stone."

Dante chuckled darkly. "We can't suspect everyone who wants to read about the Stone, Envy. But just to be safe, kill him as soon as you can." Envy nodded. He had a sick feeling Dante didn't buy it. Then again, if she hadn't bought it, would she had told him to kill the guy? But one human life lost didn't mean much to Dante.

"When do we leave?" Envy asked, checking his fingernails.

"You can leave tomorrow evening, but today would be best."

"Tomorrow. Anything else?"

Dante stared at Envy. "You act as though you have power."

"I do have power."

Envy earned another angry glare from his master. He knew that she knew all sorts of fun ways to torture him, but he didn't care. He was actually enjoying this. He also knew that later, he'd be just as obedient to her as Wrath or Pride. It was always wise to have a good relationship with Dante, especially if she trusted you like she did with him and Pride.

"No, there is nothing else. You are excused."

"Good! Let's go, Lust, I'm hungry."

"Homunculi don't need to eat, Envy." Dante called after him. "You'll just be wasting my food."

"Ah, but I am hungry." Envy said mockingly. "I may not need to eat, but I still sometimes feel a desire to eat. That, I believe, is called hunger."

Dante continued to stare disapprovingly at him, but he had wheeled around and grabbed Lust's wrist, pulling her into the kitchen.

"Envy, you shouldn't mouth off to her so often, she could easily kill you."

"What do you care?"

"You and I are constantly working together, so if she kills you, she'll kill me too, 'just in case' we were plotting together, and there's no way in hell you're ruining my chance to become human."

"But we've already broken so many laws of the homunculi. I've fallen in love, you're remembering things from your time as a human. You fell in love too, I believe, with this Lujon guy. Sloth, I hear, remembers things too. We're different. What does it matter to me if she kills me? At least I died standing up for us outcasts. At least I wouldn't have died a puppet like Pride."

Lust blushed when Envy said the part about Lujon. "I did not fall in love with him. He was a mistake, nothing more. If I loved him, I wouldn't have been able to kill him."

"But you almost didn't. It was when he reminded you too much of the guy in your memories that you killed him. So I guess you had a really, really big crush on him. Where does Dante keep the goddamned food?"

"Here, I'm assuming you want a steak, bread, and milk. That's all you ever eat." She placed the bread and milk on a counter and threw a slab of raw meat at Envy's face. "And besides, it'd be hard _not_ to have a crush on him when _he_ was the one who loved you so deeply because he thought you saved his village, which _you_ diseased in the first place. I blame this faulty on you."

"Everything's suddenly _my_ fault. It's _my_ fault that I humiliated myself, it's _my _fault you're so screwed up, it's _my _fault Maes Hughes died-"

"It _is_ your fault Hughes died, _you shot him_, half-wit!" She forgot momentarily that her fingernails were spears and she threw a large knife at the slab of meat still on Envy's face.

He fell to the ground and his body shook for a moment before he pulled the knife and the meat out. "It's all bloody…" he whined, mopping up his blood with a towel. "Wipe your face, Envy, you look like a tomato." Envy rubbed his nose with the towel, only to see a massive amount of blood on the fabric. He wet it and continued to clean himself while slamming the steak onto a frying pan and turning up the stove.

When they had seated themselves on top of the counter to eat, Wrath stumbled into the room, clambered onto the small island in the middle of the room, and laid down, burying his head into his arms and making soft sobbing noises.

"You know, we cook on that thing." Envy said, poking Wrath with his fork.

Wrath lifted his head slightly and moaned, "I-I-I'm never gonna do a-anything right around here…"

"What did you do wrong?" Lust asked, cocking her head to the side like a curious kitten.

"I don't know, but Dante didn't like what Sloth told her and-and-and she had Pride p-punish me…" The little boy's voice came out muffled. He moaned softly again and nuzzled his face into his hair.

Lust widened her eyes at Envy. "It would be appropriate for his idol to comfort him, you know." she whispered.

"But I'm _eating_…"

A quick slice across his throat, and Envy knew he would have to stop eating and comfort his fellow homunculus.  
He hopped off of the table and reached his arm out to Wrath. He was unsure of what to do, but with a threatening gesture from Lust's fingernails, he decided he didn't want to go through any more abuse today, so he patted Wrath's head as if he were a small puppy. Unfortunately for him, Wrath moaned again and jumped off the table, throwing his arms around Envy's waist and burying his face into his bare stomach, crying loudly. Envy nearly jumped back, but Lust's foot told him to do otherwise. He held his arms up in the air so that they wouldn't touch him, but Lust, now greatly annoyed, snapped, "Oh, for pity's sake, at least _touch him_." Envy uncertainly put his arms around Wrath's back. He could feel the boy's hot tears and saliva running down his stomach. He shuddered slightly in disgust.

Wrath finally stopped, and let go of Envy, rubbing his eyes hard with his knuckles. The older Sin snatched a towel and wiped off all the moisture on his middle. "Now go cry somewhere else." he said.

Wrath nodded, hiccupped, and quietly lumbered out of the room. Envy gratefully leapt back onto the counter and began to, once again, enjoy his dinner. "You're unbelievable." Lust hissed, promptly slapping him across the cheek. His fork fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

"Ow! Come on, he's got 'Mommy', doesn't he?" Envy pouted and rubbed his cheek with his hand, stretching his leg and picking up his fork with his toes. He grabbed it with his free hand and began to shovel his food into his mouth, wondering when Lust would attack him next. "Besides, if he ever wants to survive here, he's got to learn how to put up with a little abuse."

"Envy, he's only, what, eight years old? He hasn't had four centuries to get used to Dante's shit. You seem to always forget that when you're talking to us."

"Okay, okay…" Envy was rather sick of this irritant and wanted to get some time alone. He threw his plate into the sink and began to walk out of the room.

"Oh no, you don't," Lust said, hopping off of the counter. "You're washing that."

"Like hell I am."

"Wash it."

"Make me."

"Envy!"

"Fuck off!"

"_Envy!_ You're acting like a _child!_" Shortly after saying this, Lust felt a foot connect hard with her stomach. The impact sent her flying across the room, and she keeled on the floor, spluttering and tightly hugging her waist. She shot her fingernail spears out at Envy's general direction, since she was in too much pain to look up, but it didn't take much to realize she had missed. She coughed again, stood up, and cursed as she began to wash the dishes.

Envy had run off to his room, Lust's words echoing annoyingly in his mind. _You're acting like a child…_ cheh. What did he care? She could think whatever she wanted about him, he didn't care at all…

Lately, though, Envy had began to care about things that he normally wouldn't. He began pressing his fingers against his lips again. _This sucks…_

His mind wandered onto Lust. His relationship with her was probably the closest one he had to "best friend". And yet, sometimes, when she disappeared for days on end, he didn't even care. He never worried about her well-being. _Well, why you don't care is an easy question to answer. You are perfectly aware that she can take care of herself._

That couldn't be any more true, he thought. But the days where she would ask him weird questions, talk about weird things, and pretty much act really weird around him always confused him. He was never sure of what he was supposed to interpret from those days. "Maybe she likes me." he said aloud.

_HA!! That's a good one. You're just flattering yourself now. _Envy felt a smirk forming on his lips. Now _that_ couldn't be any more true.

But still…Lust _had _been a bit depressed ever since this whole Lujon business. Maybe he should cheer her up. After all, he had nothing better to do.

Lust, after cleaning the dishes, had wandered off to her own room, lying in a rather modest nightgown on top of her bed. She was racking her brains for more memories, of who she used to be, who the man she kept seeing was, and why he was always there. _Agh, fuck this!_ She thought angrily after getting nothing. _Maybe I should screw with Envy's mind. He's so easily confused, it'll be fun.  
_

Lust was shaken out of her daze by a sharp tapping on the door. "Come in," she said audibly enough for the person outside her door to hear.

The door swung open, and Lust drew a sharp intake of breath. Crossing her threshold was Lujon, in the same dress suit he had worn on the day of his wedding with Lydia.

"I missed you," he said quietly, pulling Lust into a tight, romantic hug. Lust didn't believe it. No. Lujon could not be alive. There was no way.

"I-wha-I-I killed you! You should be dead! No! You _are_ dead! I killed you myself! You're dead!" Lust said this all very fast, and impaled him with all five of her fingers through the chest. Lust felt her heart nearly die out, this was too painful, killing him again. He gave out a loud cry of pain and fell to the floor, clutching at his ribs. He opened his mouth again, probably to scream, Lust reasoned, but instead of another yell of anguish, a feminine voice croaked, "God _damn_, Lust, I was just trying to make you feel better!"

Lust saw everything become blurry. Envy changed back from Lujon into his regular form, only wearing baggy pants and a tight tank top instead of his usual androgynous getup. She nearly sank to her knees.

"_You…_" she hissed, saliva spraying through her teeth. Envy looked up, and his eyes widened. Tears were sparkling in the female homunculus' eyes, as she raised her hands and pinned Envy to the wall.

"Ack! What! What did I-" He was quickly cut off as Lust began to scream and slice every part of Envy that she could see through the tears she was fighting back. He could make out the words, "How dare you", "Are you stupid", "How could you", "Trying to make me feel better how is that going to make me feel better" , "Incompetent transvestite", and so on. _What did I do? Is this because I kicked her?_

This went on for the longest time, until Envy found himself no longer being sliced to bits, but nailed to the ceiling (at least he was whole now). Finally, Lust retracted her nails and Envy fell hard onto the floor, rubbing whatever part of his body needed the most attention. He looked up again, and found Lust on her knees, covering her face with her hands, tears falling steadily onto her lap. Envy felt a painful twinge of guilt.

"Get out." she said, her voice steady but the tears still falling. The twinge of guilt hit even harder. Envy felt sick. _This is because I changed into Lujon. I'm such an idiot._ "Lust, I-"

"OUT."

Envy opened the door and walked out. After he closed the door, he leaned against it and slid down it, pushing the heels of his palms into his eyes. He heard a wail of despair and loud sobbing. _I am never going to figure out women._

He suddenly wondered what would happen if he ever made Charlotte cry like that.

* * *

Lots of crying in this one, ne? Sorry if you're sick of crying by now. Positive reviews make me happy…not to mention they make me update faster…

By the way, positive reviews also refer to constructive criticism. That means you write it to help me, not to tell me how bad it was. Like, say "I think you should do this" or something similar. Although I would definitely prefer happy reviews to constructive criticism, it's still welcome as long as it actually helps me and doesn't just point out all the faults. I mean, come on, cynical me could point out all the faults in five minutes.


	8. Welcome Home

OMFGWTFBBQM8?? IT'S TEH FANFICTION THAT THE LOSER WITH NO LIFE WROTE!!

It's good to be writing chapter 8. I honestly thought that I would never get so far. Or rather, I never thought that I would have enough ideas to get so far. Looks like I was wrong! Yay!

I have been experimenting with a new theory that a friend of mine had about writing fanfiction. She called it "planning things out", and it actually works. I haven't planned out this chapter (we'll just play it by ear), but I know how the whole thing is going to end. However, that doesn't tell us how many more frivolous chapters including my idiotic sense of humor there will be before we actually _get_ to the ending. So bear with me until I finally figure out how to get there.

I've been watching AMVs with Celebrity Jeopardy from Saturday Night Live and Envy was Sean Connery. Funniest thing you will ever see. Also, I have been watching various characters from FMA and Naruto sing "Bohemian Rhapsody", and I enjoyed Deidara and the weird "un/hm" sound he makes at the end of each sentence. Is it just me or is that really funny to anyone else?

Now I will stop with my incessant babbling and let you read chapter 8...un.

"Hannah, we have customers."

Charlotte watched the brunette run to the podium that stood in front of the entrance to the tiny cafe. She continued stirring the various concoctions she had cooking and listened to hear what kind of people would walk through the door. Analyzing different customers was a hobby for her; she could tell what part of the country they were from, what jobs they had, even if they were single or not. She heard two young boys bickering as the bells that hung on the door rang happily.

"Brother, how do you even know they went to a restaurant?"

"Because I could've sworn I saw them walking on the streets! People don't normally wear black everywhere they go, Al!"

"You're one to talk, Brother!"

"Well, I wear red, too! And what about you?"

"I can't wear _anything_, remember, I'm a suit of armor!"

A blond boy and a tall man with a high-pitched voice wearing a large suit of armor had just walked in, arguing about something-or-other. Charlotte guessed that the suit of armor hadn't reached puberty yet, judging by his voice, but he was freakishly tall for an 11 or 12-year-old. The blond boy had a deeper voice, so she guessed that he was probably just short for his age, which was maybe 15 or 16.

"Hello, would you like to take a seat?" Hannah said this as politely as she could, for the constant apathy in her voice never sounded very polite. She smiled and gestured towards the leather booths.

"Yeah, we're looking for some people. And," the boy pulled out a silver pocketwatch and waved it in front of Hannah, "I have the authority to question you."

Charlotte could imagine the look of annoyance on her friend's face, and possibly a twitching eyebrow. "Sure, okay, Mr. State Alchemist, who are you looking for."

"I'm looking for...erm..."

The young state alchemist turned his back to the boy in the suit of armor and began to whisper frantically, if you could call it a whisper; he was practically hissing across the room. "Which ones should we ask for, Al? They all stick out..."

"Don't be so loud, Ed! And I think we should ask for Envy and Gluttony. Envy practically commands you to try and figure out his gender, and Gluttony's enormous."

Charlotte turned. Envy? That wasn't a name you heard every day. "Oh, Envy? He was-"

Hannah whipped around and glared at Charlotte, who stopped talking and stared back at the brunette. "Charlotte, for the last time, his name was _Edgar_, not _Envy_. My brother wouldn't have a name like Envy. For the love of God, get it right."

"Your brother?"

"_Yes_. Good God, I think you're going deaf. Just shut up and cook."

Charlotte felt a pang to her pride. _Well, when she's done with them I have a few things to ask her about._

"What did they look like?"

Ed raised an eyebrow at Charlotte, but continued to describe the two homunculi to Hannah. "Well, one has long, green hair, he's...er...well, you wouldn't know he was a he when you first see him...he wears a miniskirt with shorts and a cut off tank top. The other one is really short and really fat. Bald, hard to miss, black jumpsuit. Well, they're both hard to miss. And they might be with a woman in a black dress."

Hannah shrugged. "Never seen 'em before. You want something to eat, Mr. State Alchemist, or was this just an interrogation?"

The blond boy was nudged by the suit of armor. "Be nice, Ed, get something to eat."

"Why?"

"Are you blind? She's getting annoyed."

Again, Charlotte imagined the piercing blank stare and the vein pulsing in Hannah's forehead. If those kids didn't order something, she was going to throw them out.

"Okay, okay, how about...I dunno...coffee?"

"Sure. Have a seat."

The kids didn't move, they simply continued to stand.

_"Sit."_ the brunette growled, and Charlotte watched her shove Ed into a booth. She snickered lightly to herself. Another hobby of hers was watching Hannah deal with supposedly "difficult" customers.

Hannah walked into the kitchen and promptly smacked Charlotte upside the head.

"_OW!_ What?"

"You are so _gullible_. You almost blew your own boyfriend's cover."

"What cover? What are you talking about?"

"_Idiot_. When state officials come in asking for somebody, it's usually to put them in jail. Or kill them. I just saved your lover's ass, because you nearly doomed it, now give me a proper thanking and _you_ deal with those two brats."

"Okay, fine - wait, what do you mean, _lover_?"

Hannah snorted, as if the answer to this question was the most obvious one ever. "You did something last night, you suddenly have a guy in your life - lover." She shrugged and grabbed the large wooden spoon out of Charlotte's hands. "Go."

"We did _not_ do anything like that!"

"Okay, what were you doing with him last night?"

"He - well, I found him, and -"

"You _found_ him? What, is he a prostitute?"

"NO!" Charlotte found herself blushing very hard. She hated how Hannah could keep a straight face when talking about this kind of thing. "He - well, he nearly kicked me, and then..."

She went on to explain the full story of what happened in that night, all the while blushing and just waiting for some kind of witty, embarrassing comeback.

Hannah's eyes had widened. "So let me get this straight. You met a guy in the middle of the night, invited him in, invited him to stay the night, washed his clothes, had him walk around the apartment in _your_ sweatpants with no shirt on, you fucking _kissed_ him, you _slept on top of him_, and you're telling me that you, after all this, are still a virgin. I'm speechless."

It wasn't rare for people Charlotte's age to be virgins, but apparently Hannah was expecting her to actually do something about it when a guy stayed the night at her house.

"Were you expecting me to not be a virgin?"

"I'm saying I barely _believe_ that you didn't lose it last night."

Charlotte gave out an indignant "hmph" and grabbed the pot of coffee and a mug. She expected her young customer to be throwing some sort of sulky teenager fit for taking so long.

Luckily, he wasn't. He was deep in conversation with the boy in the suit of armor, obviously about the full complexity of alchemy because she didn't have a clue of what they were talking about. The blond nodded his thanks and continued to talk to the squeaky-voiced armor.

"Those kids are weird." she stated bluntly, walking back into the kitchen and watching the two talk. "Just because they're smarter than you were when you were their age, Charlotte, doesn't make them weird."

The redhead made another annoyed grunting noise and went to place the check on the table.

Envy was having a rather miserable day. He had completely humiliated himself in a restaurant, comforted a crying homunculus, then did the exact opposite to another one, and now, of all times, he just absolutely _had_ to talk to Dante because she thought something was _wrong_. No shit something's wrong. This wasn't the first time that Dante pretended to be able to see emotions in order to ask favors. What did he have to do now? Kill somebody because Pride heard them saying, "It'd be cool to have a Philosopher's Stone to make myself rich"? Wrath did something wrong? Dante just wanted to bug somebody because she got her kicks from making other people miserable? The list went on. So, with heavy footsteps and an expression that should have screamed "leave me the fuck alone", Envy entered the dining room of the underground mansion.

"What?"

Dante smiled pleasantly. "You say that so disdainly."

_That's because I want to punch your fucking face in_ _and eat your heart for breakfast. _"Eh. What do you want?"

Another smile. When Dante smiled, Envy felt like destroying a wall. "Don't talk to your mother like that, Envy. You should be thanking me for bringing you to life, you know."

_**You**__ should be thanking __**me**__ for not killing you yet. _Instead of taking his master's life, Envy waved his gloved hand dismissively and said, "I asked you what you wanted from me."

"Well, like I've said before, you seem a bit distracted, Envy. It troubles me when a homunculus isn't acting like one. I'm used to Lust and Wrath and their pitiful human faults, but I certainly didn't expect it from you."

"Do you know something about me that I probably don't? Because if you do, I really would rather be doing something that didn't involve you."

Dante's gaze changed from mockingly pleasant to annoyed. "Stop acting as if I don't control you, Envy. You know perfectly well that any day I could easily take back the life I so generously gave you. Why provoke me and make me think about doing it? I'm not Lust, don't you mouth off to _me_."

Envy snorted, but decided it would be best to just shut up.

"Good, Envy. No, I don't really know anything, but it seems like something is on _your_ mind. Do tell, I'm dying to know." She flashed another mocking smile.

Envy felt the gauge that kept his temper in check getting dangerously high. "...it's..."

"Yes?"

He smirked. Did she honestly think that he was going to tell her the truth? He knew that if he did, Charlotte would be dead within the week. "...Lust. She seemed...depressed, and I tried to cheer her up, and...well...it didn't go very well." He silently cursed himself for acting so out of character. That's probably what gave him away about having something on his mind.

Oh well, nothing he couldn't lie about.

Dante frowned. "Lust? Really. She's been acting strange again?" _Dammit, I probably just got Lust into deep shit._ "Well, she's been like that for a while. Nothing new."

"I see..."

Envy felt a painfully familiar twinge of guilt. "Is that all? Because I feel like embracing the _human_ in me and sleeping."

Envy loved saying the word "human" and associating himself with it in front of his master. She got so mad just when he said the word somewhat positively. Her reaction was priceless; her whole face darkened and she growled - literally_ growled _-, "You _have no human left in you,_ Envy. _Don't_ make me remind _you_, of all people, _again_."

"Alright, alright, don't have a hissy fit." he mumbled to himself under his breath. He walked out of her room to the large entrance doors, and then stopped. How was he going to apologize to Lust, anyway? Maybe he should just wait for her to pull herself together. It was about time she got over this Lujon guy. Who honestly cared about him, anyway? She had no problem killing those other guys who were completely useless, what was so freaking special about Lujon?

_She's probably just in shock, because she realized that he actually loved her and she ends up killing the guy. God, get over it._

He pushed the doors open. It was about time he took some of the misery out of his day.

"Okay, I'm going home."

"Fine, but I don't want to hear you telling me you slept with another freak. Whatever you think 'slept with' should mean."

"We did NOT - !"

Charlotte decided to just give it up and leave. She had been so convinced that she wouldn't see Envy ever again, yet she had just seen him today. Was this whole thing some sort of predestined plot? It certainly seemed like it. She wouldn't be surprised if she saw Envy tonight.

She continued to walk down the dark, empty streets, the same creepy feeling of being watched that she had last night. "Envy?" she called out to the darkness. No response. She shrugged and continued on towards her house.

"Boo."

Charlotte let out a short scream, whirled around, and blushed. Envy was snickering, looking very pleased with himself.

"Idiot!" She brought her hand down on the top of Envy's head. "Why do you keep doing this to me?"

"What do you mean, 'keep'? It's only been two days. I think that would hardly be considered a friendship."

"It wouldn't, if you hadn't kissed me! Remember, it was _you _who made the first move!"

Envy looked away, slightly embarrassed. Wait. Why was he embarrassed? He should just continue to be a sarcastic pain in the ass, like he enjoyed being. He was being sickenly unlike himself lately. And the two days that he had simply known Charlotte seemed incredibly long and dragged out. But, he had an idea.

He took off his headband and fastened it over Charlotte's eyes. She protested heavily at first, taking off the headband and trying to give it back to Envy, but he persisted and managed to shove it down over her eyes, and convinced her to keep it there. "Where we're going is a surprise." _Sure. If you knew where we were going then you'd have to be killed._

He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pushed her along, constantly reminding her to trust him. Like always, before he knew it, he was in the massive underground city, standing before the large doors that he had seen so many times before.

His fingers grabbed the fabric of the headband and he pushed open the doors with his foot. He leaned towards the redhead, and placed his lips so close to her ear that they were almost touching. He whispered, barely audible, "We're here,"

I just have to poke fun at how you're pretty much forced to make the characters OOC in order to write a fanfiction...hence all the times you see Envy thinking, "God, I'm so out of character". It's true, though. Without OOC-ness, there would be no fanfiction.

Now, why the hell did Envy bring her to the mansion? Who knows. I have an idea (this planning things out thing is really working!), but I just need to figure out how to write it down. I have a horrible feeling that I won't be able to write more than 15 chapters without finishing the story. If you have an idea of what you want to happen, I'd love to hear it! And as long as we're on that topic, positive reviews make me happy and they make me update! With chapter 6, I got Internet cookies in a review for the first time! w00t! They tasted very good. Thank you so much for all the support. It makes me feel like updating. 3


	9. Monster

**Apparently I made some grammar errors in some chapter or other, which I was kicking myself over because I am a grammar/spelling Nazi. NOOOO!!! (That right there was a spelling error but it was intentional because I am trying to emphasize emotion) So you will definitely be seeing improved grammar and/or spelling, because if I make another grammar error then I will cry out in anguish, like right after Ed killed Greed.**

**Onward! Also, according to the reviews I got, I think that this fanfic is getting a bit too mushy/boring, as in crying every single freaking chapter, and the reviews told me that a fight scene would be cool, so in this chapter, you get to see Envy KICK SOME ASS! (In a horribly described manner) OH YEAH! XP**

**Anyway, I've just been rambling on and on and it must be annoying by now, so on with my disclaimer and beg for mercy: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, Scar would have a lot more zippy one-liners, like that one he said right before he blew a hole in Kimbley's stomach. That was awesome...And, if you really think that this fanfic sucks, well, you're on chapter freaking nine. If you've read this far just to flame me…**

**I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR TAKING FOUR MONTHS TO UPDATE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. bows feverishly**

**And now, I'll shut up and let you read.**

* * *

"Wow! Envy, this is_amazing_!"

Charlotte's eyes were practically glittering as Envy fixed his headband back around his forehead. He smirked as he watched her twirl into the hall, reveling in the wealth that surrounded her.

Envy's head snapped to the left as he heard a door open. When he saw it was only Lust, he calmed down a bit. But Lust looked ready to kill somebody; her eyes were empty, red, and puffy. She glared at Envy, and then averted her gaze to Charlotte, who was waving like a maniac towards the beautiful homunculus. "Hi! You're Envy's friend, right? What's this house like? Is it just you three in here? Are there other people? Is this a hotel? Is this a mansion?"

Lust ignored the redhead, whipping her head around to face Envy. "Why is she here?"

"Because I felt like bringing her. Is that a crime?"

Lust gritted her teeth, baring them like a ferocious animal. She growled, charging towards Envy. He backed up slightly, hitting the wall, and was panicking that Lust would kill him in front of Charlotte, revealing his unique abilities.

But she didn't impale him again; instead, she grabbed his throat with her hand, pinning him to the wall and closing in on him. Rage seemed to have impaired her speech, but she managed to choke out, "_You fool_."

Envy stared at her coldly, not allowing the little emotion in his body to show. "What?"

"If _that person_ finds her, she'll kill her."

Envy closed his eyes lightly. "I know."

"She'll die."

"I know."

"_She'll die, Envy._"

"I know."

"Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"

"Yes."

"If you care about her, you'll take her and leave."

Envy placed a hand on her arm, pulling it down. "Who said," he said, trying to sound as if he chose his words carefully, "that I cared about her?"

A vein seemed to pop in Lust's head. "What did you say?"

Envy did not answer. Instead, he shrugged. His entire nervous system seemed to be disregarding the fact that Charlotte was whining and shouting in the background, something that sounded like, "What's going on?"

He was brought back to his own trouble by a stinging object striking him across the cheek. He focused on Lust's face. _Oh God,_ he thought, _she's gonna cry again._

She glared into his eyes, violet against violet, and the angry tears running down her face. "Stop that. It's pathetic." Envy stated bluntly.

"AT LEAST _ACT_ LIKE YOU CARE!" Lust screeched, another gloved hand striking his face, so hard it already was turning purple. But the purple color disappeared just as Charlotte put a hand on Lust's shoulder and asked for the hundredth time, "What's going on? What's wrong?"

Lust shoved Charlotte to the side, and placed her thumbs on Envy's windpipe. "Get her out of here," she said, "or I'll kill you right in front of her."

Envy calmly placed a hand on her forearm. "I suggest that you calm down." he said, pulling her arm down again. "If you don't, Dante might just find out about your...ahem..._faulties_."

The female homunculus' eyes widened. She turned her head to the side, gritting her teeth again. With a loud "tch", she dropped her other hand from Envy's neck and stormed off.

Envy stared as she walked off. Things were certainly getting interesting.

"Envy?" Charlotte said, tugging on Envy's arm, "What was that all about?"

Envy searched for the right answer. "Earlier today, I...ah...offended her. Never mind that."

"Oh...um...okay."

Envy grabbed her hand and tried to smile convincingly. He pulled her along with him as he walked towards his bedroom. He opened the door pulled her in. Her face was already a nice shade of scarlet. It made him wonder, what was going through her young, naive mind?

"Envy...?"

Envy felt completely driven. He had never really felt this before; it was an urge to...make her happy? No. It was for himself. Was this feeling love? No. He could not love. This was for himself. To give himself the experience. To make himself happy. This was not love.

The same nagging, schizophrenic voice that popped up in his voice occasionally was now screaming, and, if it had a physical form, would be shaking Envy very hard by the shoulders and smacking him across the face repeatedly.

Unfortunately, Envy was learning how to control this voice.

He wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and pulled her dangerously close, brushing his lips against her neck. She seemed to be going into shock; her whole body had frozen; she felt cold. "Do you," he suddenly asked, his feminine voice croaking in her ear, "care about me?"

Charlotte, once stiff and frozen, seemed to melt into the androgyne. "E-Envy," she stuttered, "of course I care about you,"

The sin's namesake nipped on her earlobe. He wouldn't allow himself to do this until he had convinced himself that he cared about her. How would he do that? How long would it take?

_Maybe this is why everyone else wants to become human so badly._

_Do humans have to fight over this sort of thing with themselves?_

_Why do I sound like an angsty teenager?_

He pushed these thoughts out of his mind as he continued to nuzzle his face against Charlotte's neck, murmuring her name and kissing randomly. Charlotte seemed so uncertain, confused, frightened.

"I've only known you for a few days," she said, the first thing said loudly for quite some time. "Why should I-"

"-trust me?" Envy finished, staring into her eyes. He kept smirking, trying to portray some kind of confidence. "I don't trust myself either."

"No..." Charlotte began, but her meek voice was stolen by a hard, passionate kiss from Envy. He felt her hands crawling up his back, one settling in his hair, the other finding its way up his shirt. He was particularly enjoying the slick feeling of her tongue against his.

The ineffable feeling disappeared, and Charlotte shoved him away. "No, we barely know each other! It's not right!"

Of course it's not right, Envy thought. Anything a homunculus does isn't right. But for once, both parties are enjoying it, and nobody's getting hurt. Right?

Envy's schizophrenic voice was screaming again. No, no, no! Not right! People do get hurt! Stop!

"If you really don't want to," Envy said, succumbing to the voice, "I'll take you home."

Tears suddenly filled Charlotte's eyes. Oh dear God, not the crying again. Make it stop.

She mumbled something unintelligible. Before he could register what she had said, however, Envy was lying on the bed and Charlotte had straddled him.

"...I guess you don't want to go home."

* * *

As soon as his eyes were open, Envy leapt out of his bed and shifted on some clothes. To make sure what he thought had happened the last night really happened, he rubbed his eyes in order to make them focus and snaked towards the bed, pulling lightly on the thick burgundy hair that pooled onto his pillow, grabbing the soft hand that was laying limply on his sheets._Yes,_ his schizophrenic voice said, sounding triumphant, _she has no clothes on. Yes, she is lying in __your__ bed with no clothes on._ _Yes, you-_

_That's enough._

He sighed. Getting her out of here quickly was going to be a challenge.

A jolt of electricity seemed to shake Envy out of his mental fight with himself when he felt the hand he was holding squeeze him back. "I see you, sexy."

Charlotte was gazing at him with bleary eyes and a sweet, loving smile.

He smiled back, as convincingly as he could. "Get dressed. We have to go."

Her smile didn't fade; she pulled the covers around her bare torso and sat up. "But I like it here," she cooed, scanning Envy with the same bleary eyes. Was she trying to be seductive? Well, somehow, it was working. But Envy had a surprising amount of self-control.

"It's not going to work, so get dressed." he commanded, dropping her clothes on her head. She giggled lightly and dressed quickly.

"So, I'm going home?"

"The point is to get you out of here as soon as possible. Let's go."

He opened and closed the door quickly, pulling his headband over her eyes again, finding that she was too tired to resist much. It was rather early in the morning, so he figured that not many of the other homunculi would be moving around the manor.

How wrong he was.

"Well, well. What a pleasant surprise, Envy. Tell me, what compelled you to bring a human here?"

Envy's eyes widened, his face contorting with anger as he spun around to find Pride standing there, that same false smile playing underneath his moustache. His eye patch was gone; he must have seen them with his "ultimate eye".

"Oh, it's _you_." Envy said, a smirk forming across his face. "Well, what is it?"

"I'm going to have to confiscate that toy from you, Envy. I suppose four hundred years of abstinence finally got to you?" The Fuhrer was still smiling.

Envy's face darkened. "Say another word, and I'll have to kill you. Stay silent, and we'll be going."

"I'm afraid I can't oblige. As the Fuhrer President, it's my job to protect the military's best kept secrets."

"She knows nothing. I suggest you get out of my way."

"You certainly are a tenacious little brat, aren't you?"

"You're calling _me_ a brat? I told you to get out of my way, _pipsqueak_."

"Pipsqueak? You must be describing your abilities. Tell me, are you going to impersonate my son or my wife? You know perfectly well that it won't work."

A flash of silver and the sound of metal scraping against leather, and the Fuhrer President stood before the other homunculus with his sword drawn.

"Hand her over, Envy. Don't tell me that you've become _attached_ to her."

Envy's smirk reappeared. "Maybe you're just _envious_ because I've become more human than you'll ever be. How ironic, I don't even _want _to be one of those pathetic creatures."

Pride's false smile was replaced by a scowl. "Let's end this quickly, shall we?"

His knees bent and his eyes seemed focused on Envy, which was what Envy wanted anyway. He tensed his muscles, watching Pride intently.

Pride let out a short laugh, and with surprising speed, sidestepped and charged towards Charlotte. She had long ago taken off Envy's headband, and her eyes had dilated with fear. She screamed shrilly and somehow managed to dodge the quick slash of his sword.

"Bastard-!" Envy cursed to himself and bolted towards the Fuhrer, throwing skilled kicks and punches to the aging homunculus. His eyes constantly closed and his teeth remained locked together as he felt the sting of Pride's sword biting into his flesh. He heard the crackling of the mysterious alchemic reaction as his wounds healed and his skin regenerated. Several times he felt his feet connect with Pride's body. He needed to fatally injure him in order to buy some time to get Charlotte out.

He leapt into the air and landed behind the President, kicking him in the side and catching his neck between his crossed arms. He was about to snap it when he felt a searing pain in his abdomen. He looked down at the crimson rivers flowing down his middle, and winced as the steel penetrator receded. Charlotte's screams were echoing throughout the hall.

The pain quickly disappeared as he watched the familiar flashes of light heal the bloody chasm in his stomach. He connected his foot with Pride's spine, pushing him to the ground, and placed his other foot underneath his torso. He pushed the foot on his spine down and the foot under his torso up, and he smiled sadistically when he heard the delicious snapping sound of bones breaking.

Pride lay in a bloody heap, white towers protruding from his flesh and the scarlet liquid flowing around his body. Envy tensed again as he watched the bones gather into place and the flesh wounds close. He sprinted towards him as the Fuhrer President stood again.

This time, Envy managed to get Pride in a headlock. But Pride was faster; in no time, his sword was drawn and had neatly cut Envy's arm off. He let out a little cry of pain, but that was nothing compared to Charlotte's tortured screams. He had completely forgotten that she was there. She must be confused, frightened beyond imagining, and she would never be quite so disturbed again.

The arm on the ground disappeared and the limb reappeared on Envy's shoulder, growing downward. He ran up to Pride again and hit him squarely in the stomach with his knee. Pride was reeling on the floor in pain, but had his sword drawn and was slicing at Envy. The green-haired Sin was dodging each swing with skill, and finally decided that he really needed to do some considerable damage in order to get out of this fight. He jumped up, changed his leg into a metal pike, and swung his leg towards Pride's neck, hoping to decapitate him. The clang of metal against metal echoed through the room. Envy cursed Pride's skill with the sword and swiftly shifted his limbs to assorted blades, swiping at Pride's joints. He blocked Pride's blade with one arm and amputated his legs with the other. Pride fell to the ground, and Envy quickly sliced him into as many pieces as he could in as short an amount of time as possible.

When Pride was once again nothing more than a bloody heap, the older homunculus shifted his bladed limbs back into flesh, and shoved his headband over Charlotte's horrified eyes. "Come!" he ordered, pulling her onto his back, holding onto her legs as tightly as he could. He bolted, kicking the enormous door open with as much power as he could muster. Charlotte's arms were squeezed a little too tightly around his neck, but that didn't hinder his ability to run nearly as much as the words he heard her whispering to herself:

"He's a monster."

* * *

**Well, I hope that Envy kicked as much ass as I hoped he would. That was my very first fight scene, and...blagh. That took effort. I hope it doesn't suck as much as I think it does. Then again, I think everything I do sucks. I'm sure a lot of you are tired of my cynicism. (Especially Rhiannon)**

**I might edit this fight scene, when I figure out how to improve it. I think it could use some more sensory detail, and it definitely was not as intense as I hoped it to be. Reading back, it seems like I rushed through it (which I probably subconsciously did). Oh well, if you like it at least a little bit, that's all that matters. I'm better at mushy romantic crap than fight scenes anyway. At least, I hope I am. If I'm not, then there's something seriously wrong. Oo**

**Wow…this chapter is horribly short and rushed. There are a lot of important things going on, I shouldn't have rushed through it…oh well, I'll make up for it in the next chapter. THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL NOT TAKE FOUR MONTHS TO POST.**


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